Greetings, greetings. Here we are again. I remember last year during this time, when I was in Italy. I believe the city was Milano, or Milan (as they call it in English), and I had watched this one disturbing video about this comic about some Christmas gift demon. It was stupid, nevermind that. I also distinctly remember having a slight existential breakdown after watching Mekakucity Actors and hearing Azami's story and Shinigami Record. Little did I know that that was just one of many more to come. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe it was a bad thing. More happened over the summer, but I guess that's a story for another day.
Regarding my schooling situation... well, I've been able to mainly forget about it over the past week. I went on a three-day vacation to Niagara Falls with my friend and her friend, spending time with my mother and having some fun with the two girls at the same time. So that was nice, I guess. School still makes me unhappy, but I was at least able to make amends with my chemistry teacher, and he began to like me a lot more over the course of the semester, which is a turn for the better. November was terrible, and I spent the first half of December recovering, but no harm, no foul, right? I managed to pass my Swimming Instructor's course, and my grades probably went up since midterms (I know my math mark is back up to 99, at least), so all's good in that department. The problem is my physics teacher, who is this guy from Hong Kong and is one of those teachers that wants students to 'focus on learning the material, not the marks'. Whatever. Let him do what he will. I'll just try and prepare for next semester and my grade 12 physics course then.
With the bland subjects aside, perhaps I can properly utilize my narrative prowess here and discuss the implications of the title of this blog. I still remember back when I first watched Steins;Gate. It was in ninth grade, and I was suffering from slight depression. I had hated my peers, my teachers, everything I was involved in and most importantly, myself. Trapped in this incessantly expanding sinkhole, I had no way out other than to watch anime (or so I thought at the time). However, that was around the time that I had found out Shiden Kanzaki was no longer writing any more of the Black Bullet novels. Trying desperately to replace the series I had been attached to for so long, I turned to the Internet and sought answers. Lo and behold, I was blessed with the best answer I could have received: Steins;Gate.
Recounting my memories of first watching the anime, I remember what drew me in was the light-hearted nature of the first few episodes. The colour scheme was barren and bland, the characters seemed quite simple and fun, and the science-fictions rants of the ingenious Hououin Kyoma appealed to the science-fiction futurist fanatic I was at the time, and still am now. In turn, I was extremely surprised to hear that many critics disliked the show for its slow beginning, which was what allowed me to settle in with the series in the first place. However, halfway through the series, the death of Mayuuri and the beginning of the second arc shocked me quite a bit. Nevertheless, when I finished the series, I was extremely content with this masterpiece I had found. After watching the OVA shortly afterwards and the movie a few months later, I was even more impressed and grew more attached to the series, as the pieces finally all fell into place. Currently, Steins;Gate is third on MyAnimeList (placing second before Kimi No Wa came out), and it well deserves that title.
As a science-fiction fanatic and a lover of theoretical physics, I loved trying to ponder the timelines and time travel concept portrayed in Steins;Gate. Indeed, it did take me a while (and I wrote an explanation using its theory explaining the Grandfather Paradox on the back of my math test when I finished early), but I was very happy with myself, and looking back, I'm even more impressed at how engaging Steins;Gate is. Nothing had fascinated me so such a degree since I watched Toaru Kagaku no Railgun back in grade 8 (and one year seems like a long time for a teenager). Nevertheless, my desire for a companion such as Makise Kurisu, with her tsundere personality, love of science, and secretly geeky personality, only drove me further into loneliness, knowing that she was fictional and that it was unreasonable to expect there to be real girls such as her. Despite all this, I will still hold out hope. After all, I haven't even attempted to get a girlfriend, so who knows what I can accomplish once I do? Confidence is attractive, after all.
So what do I have to say, finishing this post a few minutes before New Year's? Well, don't give up hope. Keep learning and pursuing knowledge. Expand your intellectual foundation and arsenal of skills. Make yourself worthy, and the right person will eventually find you, even if you are the one that ends up searching for her. That is what I believe, and that is what I will continue believing. My love for science fiction, Steins;Gate, and anime has not died out yet, and I will continue living on until reality states otherwise. Until next time, and Happy New Year.
Published December 31, 2018 (11:55 p.m.)